I have three boys ages 12, 9 and 6 and though we've had our share of emergency room visits and clogged toilets, my boys are fairly tame compared to the family below. Read on and enjoy this. Moms of boys will really appreciate this...
a) For those who have grown children, this is hysterical.
b) For those who have children past this age, this is hilarious.
c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.
The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, Texas (I'll bet theAustin Fire Dept knows which one!):Things I've learned from my boys (honest and not kidding):
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with rollerblades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowdedrestaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strongenough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Supermancape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread painton all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When usinga ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before youget a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by aceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already toolate.
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9) A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies.
10.) Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year oldboy.
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can'twalk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials showthey do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not likeovens.
20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24.) 80% of women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with orwithout kids.
25.) 80% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
So do you have any stories of your own to add?
2 comments:
I used to think that when the time came for my husband and I to think about having kids (although I've heard that's not how you get them), I would want boys. Who wants to deal with high-pitch squeals and the distraction of make-up and clothes and prom and weddings. Then I read this list. And I hear stories of my husband when he was a boy. And I think of the video game addictions. I'm praying for girls!
I prayed for lots of boys. I didn't grow up with any boys in my home. Even my cousins were all girls. I guess I got what I prayed for. 3 boys. But I do have to say they keep out of trouble because of the tight leash and close eye I have on them.
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